how to write your own wedding vows: prompts that make it easy

print this guidedownload the fillable pdf

writing your own vows sounds scary, and mostly it is a blank page problem. you do not need to be a writer. you need a few good questions and a few honest sentences.

here is a simple way to build them.

answer five prompts

1. the first time you knew this was your person
2. one small thing they do that you love
3. something you are grateful for
4. a promise that feels real, not poetic
5. what you are looking forward to

shape them

start with the memory, move into the promises, end with the future. keep each part to a few sentences. one to two minutes is plenty. if you are not sure, cut the longest line.

read them out loud

practice in the car, at the sink, to the dog. out loud reveals what is awkward and what is good. mark where you want to breathe. put them on cards that are easy to read, with big type.

plan for the moment

• keep a printed copy and a backup
• agree on length with your partner
• decide if you will share them privately or at the ceremony
• ask your photographer to be ready for a quiet moment

private vows pair well with a quiet moment before the ceremony. our first look guide explains one way to build that in.

questions we get a lot

how long should wedding vows be?

one to two minutes when read out loud is a good length.

how do we start writing vows?

answer a few simple prompts about your person, then arrange them into a memory, a promise, and a future.

should vows be private or at the ceremony?

either works. some couples read them privately before the ceremony and some read them in front of guests.

should we practice?

yes, out loud, a few times before the day.